Frustration

Today is probably the first day I feel really, really frustrated. I felt sad and blue about it before. But today I am just frustrated. Its about my family. Details shouldnt be on a blog I guess. Its about my parents getting seperated. I guess its about time for that. And today we got really close, and the last minute my dad changed his mind. Even though we almost had my mom agreeing to it. DUH! He has been living with a lie for the longest time. I didnt even know about it. Just found out. How would you feel if the person who taught you to be honest and loyal and the person you always trusted without questioning all of a sudden turns out to be someone who has been hiding things from your mother, your brother and yourself. And as result even had other members of my family being dishonest to me. (sorry bout the grammar today!)

I am hurt. I never felt so vulnerable. And I never felt such a lack of energy. I just feel drained. I cried so much these last days, now my head is pounding.

I am lost. Floating out at sea. And I feel like I am getting tired, ready to drown.



[this photo is NOT mine, it was taken from: http://www.mrx.no/album72/Alone.html - hmm, prolly copyright protected...]

I know he didnt do it to hurt us. He loves us more than anything. He sacrificed the last 20 years of his life probably. But its NOT better to put us through this. And I told him I rather have it ended NOW, instead of going on for a while again, and then putting all of us through the same situation again.

There is anger too, but most of all...frustration.