Superficial Girly Stuff

I found this pic of shoes on the net...and I love em :) - lol...just felt like blogging something really superficial and girly like :)

Life and timing and timing and life...

Once again life has a very bad timing for me. I just rejected the offer from GE in Sydney. Somehow I cant believe I did it and I feel regret. On the other side I know what I want to go for, and thats what I should try to archieve right?

"Dreams can come true...
in Life reach for the moon,
because even if you stumble you'll catch a star"

- unknown

Kraft might work out or it might not. From the bottom of my heart I hope it does and I wont screw up the interview. But if someone has made different plans for me, then I might have to follow those...wish me luck with this one, please. Its time for something good to happen in my life...

Nah, thats not fair. I watched this report about children living on the streets in India and this German woman fighting for them. She gave up so much herself to help them and she is fighting so hard. Thats something so great, I should feel ashamed to even complain.

But then...is it wrong for me to ask for something I would really like? And at the same time, does it make me smaller cause I want something like this? Something that doesnt make a change in this world, thats just pure business? FMCG isnt exactly for the Mahatma Gandhi's in this world....there are a lot of dreams and hopes inside of me. Often it seems I didnt find the right way yet to bundle them and aim at a certain goal. I wish one day I would just wake up and KNOW what it is that I am "made for".

Some people will say: "Try religion.". But I dont know about that. I am not the kind of person that will simply "believe" without questioning. For now all I am asking is: Please, give me the strength to fight for what I want and let me not settle for less.

I miss my crazy friends!

Its hard. But I have to face it. My friends here ARE def. good friends. But when it comes to dancing they are f*** boring.

..nah, I am to tired
..nah, I am busy with my thesis
..nah, I am here
..nah, I am there...
..nah, blah blah blah blah....

I need someone crazy to go out partying with me....someone like Patty :) Guess there are no "Pattys" in Germany, eh?

Well, will go out with the AIESEC bunch tonight and meet Frank afterwards. We might go to the movies or something. Will see...

Summary of weekend plans:
FRI
8 PM: AIESEC meeting
9.30 PM: meeting Frank

SAT
Korean school festival
evening: AIESEC?

SUN
Rabin is taking me to a brunch, will be fun to meet new people :)

Weird stuff ;)

While chatting with a friend, we found this really odd website incl. W H A L E P O R N lol - check it out...its pretty funny :)

Walk the Line

Here are Joaquin and Reese


Johnny and June:

http://www.cowboysindians.com/articles/archives/0104/cash.html

The Black Forest

The Black Forest is situated in the south-west of Germany. With a length of ca. 160 km the Black Forest has a width of about 20 km in the north (Pforzheim) up to more than 60 km in the south(Waldshut). The summits of the black forest achieve heights of 1166m (Hornisgrinde) in the northern Black Forest up to 1493m (Feldberg) in the southern Black Forest. In the west the Black Forest falls steeply off to the Rhine Valley, down to a height of hardly more than 200m. Eastwardly towards Danube and Neckartal the rolling hills reach to a height of 600m.

Find more here.

me=happy

You know what..life is pretty cool after all - I had a really packed, but fun weekend - so far (its only SAT night :)

FRI: The party at Adrian's was fun. He is a lot cooler than I thought=he is totally nice! Met his really funny roommate too---some British dude, who started playing the guitar at around 2:30 AM...the text was like this "Puuuufffmuuttterrr....Du bist geil....Puuuufffmuutterr...Ich krieg kein Rabatt" (the translation would be: "female piiimmp...you are so hot...female piimmp....I dont get any discount" - dont ask, he was f** wasted :)

Then I stayed at Nat's place, even though I wasnt really drunk, I was even driving. We talked for 2 more ours about love, jobs, our lives...was cool.

SAT: Really went to the slide show thing and glad I didnt go to the one at 11 AM, because 1. I would have fallen asleep and 2. two in one day is more than enough. The first one was by this remarkable guy, who has been in a wheel chair since he was 23, but managed to travel through India on his own. I have his website, but its only in German :(

The other one was a guy who travelled through Africa for 2,5 years. He had some really neat shots, but an almost 3 (!) hours show is pretty damn long if you are tired. I think that probably Africa is the next continent I want to head too, if I find the right person to travel with. Will be def. a challenge....and I think I am ready for it. Give me new cultural input!!! Drag me out of my freakin comfort zone!!! lol

Being silly: Happy St. Patrick's Day :)

Its St. Patrick's Day...and a rather busy weekend too.

FRI: Adrian is hosting a POLISH party and then we are heading out to an Irish pub. Not sure if I am coming home tonight...thought I might have a couple of drinks (I think its all Matt's fault - he was so eager to get me into alcohol ;)

SAT: Slide shows about India and Africa. Dad wants to go and it seems rather interesting. Actually I just want to get on a plane when seeing the pics!!! *sigh* I want to be a travel journalist. Must be tiring, but fun! There is another slide show on at 11 AM, but as they are 10 EUR each, I dont think I will go to all three of them. Will see. And actually I was planing on going out with the AIESEC bunch, but I just realized if I attend the slide show at 8 PM...*cries* see, I DO need a clone!!! There are too many opportunities in this world!

SUN: Nat & me might head out to the F-n-M Brunch. For sure we are finally going to see "Walk the line" (OV). Should be good as Reese got an oscar for the show :)

So, dont be surprised if you wont see me on...I am still alive, just not home :D

The world of Bollywood!

I have a friend who got infected with the BOLLYWOOD virus...and it seems that these days you can see more of it on German TV.

Tonight they are showing Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) and besides the fact that its pretty long (220 min). I like it.

But my favorite is still Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India (2001).

And for sure the costumes and the dancing/singing is my fav part.

My life...an open book

Sometimes my friends wonder why I blog so open about my feelings. I really dont know, its my way to get things out of the system I guess. Its because I really need to. Otherwise it keeps buzzing around in my head and I cant get it out....

There are two things on my mind in these last days....

1. JOB
2. HIM

I think 1 is my priority, as I cant do anything about 2 anyways and as I honestly believe he isnt "healthy" for me at this point of time. Its odd how it feels like it happend a long time ago, as it didnt. I miss the good times we had - YES, and I appreciate that it happend. And after reading his entries on the site where we met I dont believe he has been lying.

I guess after all he had the same problem like a lot of people...lacking some courage to stand up for something that seemed special and risk something. Of course its more convenient and secure to stay in a relationship with someone that will fetch the moon and the stars for you. BUT...what if you DONT love that person??? And I would guess he does not love her (anymore) if he has really never cheated on someone before and now he did it after just a few months?! Is it worth "wasting your time" and making the other person believe there is a future? Is it fair to the other person???

But then of course its a lot easier for me. Even though I am proud that I can say I was strong enough when I was in a very similar situation. Yet...I know it would put me under A LOT OF PRESSURE IF he would really break up with her...A LOT!

Anyways he wont and I also have to admit that the way he was acting this past week def. destroyed some of the feelings I had. Which is good I guess?! Yet of course I wish we had met under different circumstances. And I will keep the good memories :) They are tpo sweet and FUN, not to be kept ;) If one day he is single and will walk into my life again....I will see how I feel. But I really dont have to worry about that now :)

About the part that currently keeps my mind pre-occupied the most. I am still mad that somehow they never got my DHL application. Dont get me wrong I dont think its their fault, I guess its faith, that the internet somehow ATE it :( - I put soo much effort into sending it out and I double-checked: I sent it out for sure!!! URGH!

Now I wonder where I want to go....(if I get accepted):
- Sydney: Cool company, challenging job, but wrong product.
- Switzerland: Big, international company, fun job, but (maybe) wrong product.
- UK: Big, international company, fun job (!!!), but wrong field (would be HR not Marketing - well actually HR IS something I would LOVE to do, too). - F*** when will I ever make up my mind about WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT?!??!!

Other options: Apply for more jobs in Germany and turn down all the intl. possibilities. Is that what I want? Tough, tough, tough....Promised myself that I will sit down and sort out my life tomorrow :) Wish me luck...its quite a mess (oh, I forgot to include the "my parents" part, but dont want to blog about it, cause its depressing ;).

Good thing I know about myself: I will never give up and I will always laugh, even when I am down :)

Sharing my wisdom...

You know what, doesnt matter how old you are...if your parents are going through a rough time YOU will be one of the ones suffering, even if you dont want to.

Cheers to life.
Cheers to an apt. of my own ;) - I wish!!!

And the Oscar goes to...

Brokeback was nominated for 8 (!) Oscars! Sadly it only got 3 and none of the actors got one :(

Other good movies I watched:

Crash - obviously, as it won the Oscar for "BEST PICTURE"

Memoirs of a Geisha

Movies which are supposed to be good, but which I havent seen yet:
- Walk the line (Reese Witherspoon got an Oscar, and she was really sweet and e when giving the speech)
- The constant gardener
- Capote

Check here for the complete list of nominees and winners!

Weekend review

FRIDAY

We had tons of snow on friday. And I LOVE IT!!! And even 20 cm of snow on my car I had to get rid off, couldnt make my happiness go away :)

Isnt it pretty?!?!



Spent the evening with the crew from university: Jan, Oli, Regine and Iwona. It was so nice to get back together once more. I guess Oli manages to make us all feel special, he is just THE charmer ;)

SATURDAY

Right now I dont even remember what I did. Probably slept forever, cause I went to bed really late. I would guess 6 AM or something like that.

SUNDAY

I went to meet up with some people from an expat community. Was a bit nervous, cause I thought they would be older, but they were cool. They were really nice and fun people...mostly from the US, but also from China and South Africa and...I have to figure out the rest. I took our Canadian trainee along. And both her and me had a good time. After brunch at an American style cafe called NYC we went to the movies: Brokeback Mountain.

It has been nominated for some oscars, and even though I am biased (cause I think he is the cutest ever *g*) I think Heath Ledger would really deserve an oscar for his performance! He was great! Natasa and me were making jokes, about what a great bf he would be: He is cooking, doing the dishes and so on ;) No seriously, the movie has a very interesting topic (two gay cowboys), but the story isnt lame or odd, its pretty good. So..now I am waiting for the RED CARPET and the SHOW to begin...just another hour till it starts....probably wont get much sleep :)

HIM

No msg since Friday. I guess in the end he was right. He is just A guy after all...weird thing is that I am not heart broken, just sad that I was wrong once again.

Deutsch - Quiz - Fun

http://www.qmania.de

http://www.testedich.de

Being homeless...or something like it

Surfing the net I found an interesting blog today. Its by a guy who used to be a graphic designer and lost his job. He is sharing his thoughts and methods to deal with the situation.

When I grew up it seemed so far away. I mean I never thought I would have to worry about being unemployed and where that might lead too. But at the moment it is at the back of my head (well, not quite the homeless part) and I get the feeling that these days even if you graduated and are unemployed for a while no one wonders. And thats pretty scary.

It has only been a couple of months since I graduated. December was busy with Christmas and catching up with friends, January was busy with AIESEC stuff and February was busy with someone I care about ;) But now it seems that I am back in reality and it worries me.

I had two more interviews yesterday and this morning (actually I was woken up by a HR person from Sydney, which is kind of cool, but bad if you didnt have time to prepare for the interview). Probably I will hear back from them by next week. Wish me luck!!! At least one of the things in my life should work out, eh? ;)

Where do I want to go and what do I want to do?

I have the feeling that once again its time for me to sit down and sort out my priorities. I might do that tomorrow after my interview with Australia.

*sigh* Its so weird. I was so depressed that nothing worked out and now I have a couple of interviews within 2 days. Here are my POTENTIAL options:

- Frankfurt
- Sydney
- Singapore
- Seoul (I might be able to talk to my boss again)
- Vienna (sent out an application today)

Hmm, is any of this REALLY, REALLY what I want?

Hard to tell. I wonder if I made the right decisions in the past. Yet I know all the experiences were def. good ones. I need to focus and work on my language skills I think.

Actually I am quite surprised how I feel about "Mr. YOU KNOW WHO". Maybe its cause we hardly talked to each other these last days. But I am surprised how fast I seem to get over him. Well, I wonder if thats the whole truth or if deep down inside I really DO believe that if we are meant to be together, we will be together. Or if maybe I am just trying to tell me allll these things to make myself believe that it wont work out:
1. Geopraphical distance
2. our past (he has never been abroad)
3. we are both dreamers in a sense, sometimes I have the feeling we could exist in a dream world, but wont be able to handle reality (but then, wouldnt it be nice to be able to build a dream world with someone you love, and live there, whenever you can escape reality? - NO, I am not drunk ;)
4. About a million reasons I could find if I would want to. Do I? I think it might make things easier if I really try to DESTROY all the feelings I have for him and vice versa. We wont start hating each other, but we will be able to handle the life we DO live, instead of crying over the life we COULD live....

I am not unhappy. I am just tired and confused. I want decisions and I want them fast. Some kind of routine that can keep me going so I dont have to think about certain things too much.

Australia...wow...its the other side of the world. Do I really want to go away again? And if I would go, would it be because I want to go abroad or because I want to get away again? I cant keep running away, can I? I mean not forever. Its about time I face life, eh?

Religion and Lego - a whole new world :)

Check out this page...I just saw a few photos, but they are just too funny...

Especially this one about marriage :)